I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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