At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
