Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
