I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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