Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
