k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
