My nipple is on Facebook.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
