I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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