TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
