I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
