It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
