More tranny stories later!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
