Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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