My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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