dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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