When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
