My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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