She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
