Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
