Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
