your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
