So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
