That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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