I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
