you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
