is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
