i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
