She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
