Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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