she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
