Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
