Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
