singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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