I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
