I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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