He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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