Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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