the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
