At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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