i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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