FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
3pm strippers are depressing
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
