I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
