You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
