If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
