There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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