I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
