Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
