I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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