I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You are the jesus of drinking
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
