i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
