thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sorry about my life...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
